![]() After he does the thing with the rock and the creation, he does a whole bunch of other things, like make some stuff to put on the rock: tapirs, those mushrooms that squirt out clouds of poisonous, lung-exploding spores when you step on them, a vole or two to spice things up, some annoying mountains in the middle of flat stuff all of these things he secretes out of his Stuff-Gland and sticks them on this crazy rock he's making called "Earth." Anyway, this guy works on decorating his rock for like six straight days or something, but as the story goes, on the seventh day he gets lazy and sleeps in, maybe goes down to the Sizzler for the all-you-can-eat sundae bar instead of working on his creepy old space rock some more. You know that book, the one where that holy guy creates a big space rock in the middle of nowhere? It's sort of a tall tale, but it explains a lot. The movie's main character in a dramatic pose from the opening fight sequence. They tug at something, alright, but it's more like that tug you get when you have to take a really big dump but there's no toilet paper to be found so you end up with your pants down behind the local elementary school just as recess is getting out. The Case Against: Despite the desperate plea by more than a few multinational corporations for you to love this movie, your reaction will be more one of hatred and disgust for the sentient, snot-like creatures that are supposed to tug at your heartstrings. Another thing that keeps you tuned in is wondering in what fantastical manner they will try to rip off ET (and fail horribly) next. Every scene brings another large company's product to the forefront and tries lamely to mix it into a nonsensical, vomit-inducing plot. The Case For: The only reason I can think of to watch this movie would be to gape in awe and horror at the sheer amount of product placement that takes place. ![]() Together, they enjoy zany antics that are fun for the whole retarded family and help the alien's boil-covered family become official US citizens. ![]() Overview: A wheelchair-bound boy struggles through a world of corporate logos with the help of his newfound friend, a whistling booger from outer space. ![]()
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